The Best Advice...

The Best Advice Is To be Quiet

By Sean Claes
So, it seems to be the time of our life when a good number of our family and friends are having children. As you likely know, my wife and I are expecting our second child in April (a few days after our first child turns 3). We’ve got 3 or 4 couples at church that are expecting or just had a baby. A few of my wife’s friends are expecting. Now I find out that two of my best friends are expecting as well! One is expecting his second, and the other is about to embark on fatherhood for the first time.

It hasn’t been too prominent this time around for us, but first time parents, weather they want it or not, are subjected to advice. I was on the phone with my friend Trevor last week as he let me know he’s going to be a first-time daddy. My first thought was “there goes that Jagermeister baby-doll t-shirt I was going to give to his wife for Christmas (I’m still sending it by the way Trev.. she can wear the clothes… just not drink the shots)” but that was quickly replaced by joy, happiness, and genuine thrill.

Then it occurred to me that I should warn him. Not about the trials and tribulations of having a child… not about taking care of a pregnant wife… not about colic or spit-ups or projectile vomiting… but I felt the need to warn him about people who learn he’s going to be a first time dad.

What? Warn him against people? Yes. The simple fact is, many people feel the need to share the most tragic, disgusting, negative stories to first time parents. So I thought I’d write this little ditty to let people know sometimes they should just keep their mouths shut.

What NOT to say/do to expectant parents:
- Don’t tell the story about the person you know who knows someone who had a miscarriage or a stillborn birth. Having a child is scary stuff. What good is it to let them know that you have proof that there’s a chance that this child will be anything other than the baby they will someday send off to kindergarten, college, marriage, and be parents to their grandchildren? There is no good reason… at all. Some people say “well, I’m just being truthful.” There’s a fine line between being truthful, being hateful, and being an asshole… and you’re tripping all over it.

- Don’t tell them that their life is effectively over and say something you think is funny like “hope you did everything you wanted to do in life already.” The commercial says “Having a baby changes everything.” It’s true. Having a baby does change everything. There is a new heartbeat to love, cherish, and center you in your universe. Suddenly having a beer at Hooters doesn’t seem like it’s such a big deal. Suddenly going hunting/fishing/playing music/drinking/building model airplanes/going to the movies/eating at expensive restaurants/wearing the newest clothes/impressing others/arguing or anything else you did before this kid was born becomes a bonus and not a reason for existence. This doesn’t mean you have to stop doing any of these things… it just means it won’t be the center of your universe.

- Don’t tell horrible stories of colic. Sometimes babies cry… a lot. Colic is something that, depending on where you look, happens to 10-20% of children ( http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/colic/DS00058/DSECTION=1). That doesn’t mean it’ll happen to their child. They should be aware that it isn’t something that is wrong with the child… it’s a fact of life. If you want to give advice about colic… tell them ways to soothe the baby… don’t point and laugh or tell them “oooh… just you wait until your kid won’t stop crying.” It’s not a revenge thing… if you took care of a baby with colic, or the expectant mother or father was a colic baby and you are their parent, you aren’t “passing the torch” to the next person. You of all people should know what a disgustingly hurtful thing that is to say.

- Don’t tell folks who are expecting their second child – “Watch out, if the first one was an angel, the second will be the devil.” You know what, you told really hateful and crappy stories about having a first child, so you’re opinion on the matter isn’t valid.

- Don’t touch the belly. How would you like it if I walked up to a complete stranger and rubbed up against them? I’d be arrested for assult or indecency or for generally being a creep. What makes it OK for people to touch a pregnant woman without warning or permission? If anything you should keep more of a distance from the expectant mother as by the time she’s showing she likely doesn’t want you to touch her, much less rub her belly. She’s carrying a life, she isn’t Buddha.

- If you had a troublesome pregnancy, don’t tell them about it in graphic detail. A simple, “I hope your pregnancy is going well” will suffice. Just because they are pregnant, it doesn’t give you permission to share your woes. It’s they who are pregnant, not you… stop talking about yourself, you self-centered prick.

- The advice I always give folks who are expecting is… don’t listen to anyone. Every pregnancy is different. Every child is unique. There is no solid evidence that the reason that your kid is a little Einstein is because of the way you raised him. It could be in SPITE of you. You really don’t know. All you can do is love this child more than anything in the world (but that’s immediate and you don’t have to work on that).

- My wife and I were raised very differently. We have raised our first child thus far very differently than the way we were raised. I’d like to think we took the best parts of our upbringing, combined it with the things we saw that our friends have done that we agreed with, and added some personal beliefs. That’s the way to raise a child. Learn from your past and your observations. Don’t listen to angry/hateful people who disguise their negativity as “giving advice.” If anything… land if you have to listen to them… just think to yourself “man… I’ll never do THAT to my kid.”

- It’s perfectly allright to tell the person who asks you personal business about your pregnancy that you don’t want to share that that information is Noneya. None of your business. If they persist, ask them about their last pelvic exam or physical. Watch out though… they may tell you.

- If someone shares a negative story, why not ask them to tell you something positive that came from raising a child. That’ll throw them for a loop.

So, if you’re expecting a child. Congratulations! It’s the coolest ride in the world. Have FUN with it. Like I said, we’re working on our second at this point and we will make sure that this second child is engulfed in the same bubble of love that our first currently resides.

So… Little Claes Too, I am really looking forward to meeting you and touching your beautiful face for the first time in April. I cannot imagine the life changes that will occur with your arrival, but I know that we’re in this together. Claes Family of Four are getting ready to take over the world in 2007!

What do I want for Christmas

I know you've been racking your brains to wonder what to buy me for Christmas.

I went ahead and made a list for you on Amazon:



Happy Shopping!

Oh... and if you want a copy of the limited editon Boysen-Claes Christmas 2006 CD you need to message me with your address... and I'll send you one.

Facundo Is Back! 12/16/06 @ Flamingo Cantina

Facundo is back! December 16, 2006 @ Austin's Flamingo Cantina

Hosted By: Facundo Productions
When: Saturday Dec 16, 2006
at 8:30 PM
Where: The Flamingo Cantina
6th street
Austin, TX 78701
US
Description:
Facundo Productions

Click Here To View Event

Music Line Up: DJ Manny, Vehicular, Many Birthdays, Young Nick and the Haze Boys, Afrofantastic, and The Carabelas Collective (Feat. Sergio Carvajal, John Diaz, Joseph Serrato, Aldo Ramon and Mickey Madrid)



Spoken word, student short films, and much more!






Many Birthdays Video:
..>

The making of a Vehicular video:
VEHICULAR-Music Video Shoot


Sponsored by INsite Magazine



INsite - Always Entertaining Under The Covers.

December INsite on Stands

Here we are again, the end of a year… and what a year it has been. We’ve had fantastic live shows. It doesn’t seem like it was just this February that we threw or first “official” INsite night with Dramarama, Nooner, Freebleeder, Squint amd Analog Missionary. Thanks to all of the other bands who have played an “official” INsite Night this year. Special thanks to Ben Mills of Beached Cow Productions for helping those shows happen.

During December there will be two big shows happening that INsite has been thrilled to be supporting.

The first is the Fireside Creative Showcase at The Parish Room (214 E. 6th) on Friday December 8 where Bayta Darell, Hundred Year Storm, Nooner, Lonestar Pornstar, and Shrapnel will be playing in support of Fireside Creative’s launch of their online portfolio (http://www.firesidecreative.com/). $10 gets you in, a 17 song compilation CD, dinner (come early), and a chance to win a Gibson Guitar signed by Chuck Norris.

The second is Facundo at Flamingo Cantina on Saturday, December 16 where you’ll be treated to live music by the likes of DJ Manny, Vehicular, Many Birthdays, Young Nick and the Haze Boys, Afrofantastic, and The Carabelas Collective (Feat. Sergio Carvajal, John Diaz, Joseph Serrato, Aldo Ramon and Mickey Madrid) as well as spoken word, short films and much more.

Now that THAT is out of the way, welcome to the December issue of INsite. As you can see from the cover Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny is out in the theatres and INsite had a chance to talk with Mr. Black and Mr. Gass AKA Tenacious D.

Additionally we’ve got an interview with Austin bands Ohn and Hundred Year Flood, Bobby Bones’ New Years Resolutions, and a spotlight on the Corvette in Drive.

The bulk of this issue is dedicated to our gift suggestions. From fashion to gadgets to toys to foodie finds, INsite has got you covered… hopefully. Heck, if you’re anti-holidays, we’ve got something for you as well…read Chuck Loesch’s “Between Rock and a Hard Place.”

That said, I hope you have a fantastic December and I look forward to having the opportunity to bring some great entertainment reading to you in 2007!

Sean Claes
Managing Editor, INsite

DAX in Austin 11/30

DAX to Celebrate Release of Two Tracks at Elysium on Thursday

One of Austin..s premier industrial rock bands, DAX (think Nine Inch Nails meets KMFDM meets David Bowie), will be celebrating the release of two new tracks to the new MySpace music store on Thursday, November 30, 2006 with a show at Elysium (705 Red River).

Why celebrate a release of music to MySpace and not the release of an album? Simple. In order to get DAX..s music out to the listening public sooner than later, the band has decided to release songs to MySpace for purchase. This way there will be some new DAX music released every few months, and people can buy directly from the DAX MySpace page .. http://www.myspace.com/DAX .

One of the tracks being released, "And the Band Played On," follows the theme of the world coming to an end. According to lead vocalist Dax Callner, "It is a funky, mellow tune that gradually gets more and more intense, ending with an orgy of instruments and voices". Everyone knows if the world is going to end, an orgy is in order.

A rough mix of the dark, sensual dance song, "Suffer," was chosen for inclusion on the Texas Music Magazine (http://www.txmusic.com/) compilation that was released with the Magazine..s Fall 2006 issue. Its been refined and finalized for its release on Thursday.

You can currently listen to the two tracks on the DAX MySpace page .. http://www.myspace.com/DAX . They will be available for purchase on Thursday.

DAX will be playing Austin's Elysium (705 Red River) at midnight Thursday, November 30. Supporting bands will be Saturday's Radar (10p.m.) and Matches for Memories (11p.m.). The show is a 21+ gig and entrance is $5.
Visit DAX online at http://www.DAX.org.

DAX is:
Dax Callner - vocals, Erin Markle - vocals, Mark Nine - bass, Forrest Foster - drums, Erik Gard - guitar, Rhoades D'ablo - guitar, Chad Stumbaugh - keyboard

Extra: DAX Tidbit:
The Austin Business Journal editor Lance Williams recently interviewed DAX lead vocalist Dax Callner for a piece about musicians who are also players in the business world (Callner is a marketing strategist, with clients such as eBay, Microsoft, Intel and HP) that will be out in mid-December.

Win a Chuck Norris Signed Guitar - December 8

Five unique bands will grace the stage at Austin’s Parish Room on December 8, 2006. The hauntingly beautiful sounds of the intergalactic band, Bayta Darell (bey-tuh duh-rel), start things off at 8:30 followed at 9:30 by Hundred Year Storm (huhn-drid yeer stawrm) the ambitious experimental quartet who released two great albums in three months on two labels and who will be sure to capture your attention for a half-hour before they head out on yet another grueling tour. Nooner (noo-ner) comes up at 10:30, and the boys will bring plenty of their signature catchy ego-rock for the masses. At 11:30 as the witching hour approaches, LoneStar PornStar (lohn-stahr pawrn-stahr) will hit you directly in the face with their funk-driven, ass-shakin, gangsta-style, hard rock. And just when you think the Parish Room’s energy level has peaked, at 12:30, Shrapnel (shrap-nl) will launch a sonic assault of progressive metal music that is sure to send the audience into a hypnotic frenzy. Why the hell are all of these amazingly different indie bands performing together? Simple. They are all part of the Fireside Creative family and are playing to celebrate the launch of the new online portfolio found at www.firesidecreative.com. Consider this your personal invitation to the show. $10 will get you through the door, get you a 17-song compilation CD of Fireside Creative-friendly bands (that’s 7 more songs than iTunes can give you at that price), and it may even get you a free Gibson guitar signed by Chuck Norris. Yes… Chuck F*&@ing Norris. He’s a former Fireside Creative client too. That’s just how we roll.
Come early and we’ll feed you too.

Every now and then a comic will cross my path that I think is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time... This is one of them, from explosm.net.



Now.. I grew up on Metallica.. and I'd like to think Metallica kind of grew up with me... but St. Anger... man... I can't defend that. I hope they come out with something that knocks everyones socks of next... Something with the venom of Ride The Lightening and the power of "One." Bridge the gap for us Metallica... please?

Hundred Year Flood To Play Kyle Friday, November 17

Good Things Come in Twos


Hundred Year Flood To Play Kyle Friday, November 17




Courtesy Photo

By Sean Claes
The small crowd that gathered at the Lucky Cup Coffee House in Kyle, Texas the first Friday of this month was treated to a great Happy Hour concert by Hundred Year Flood. If you missed it, the good news is, they are coming back this Friday (11/17) for another show between 6:00-8:00p.m.

Over the course of the last six years, the members of Hundred Year Flood have made four albums of their signature "original Southern Rock" sound. The latest album, released in April 2006, entitled Blue Angel captures them at their best thus far, and they just keep getting better.

Earlier this year the band got some attention for the Anti-War song "Ain't Gonna Fight in a Rich Man's War" which they released for free as an online download and video using MySpace.com and YouTube.com. It found it's way to Neil Young's camp, as well as into the ears of many, many people.

Vocalist/Guitarist Bill Palmer took time out of his schedule to talk with area freelance writer/photographer Sean Claes about the making of Blue Angel and life in a four-member band with two lead singers, two brothers, two marriages (Bill and co-lead vocalist/keyboardist Felecia Ford are married and drummer Jim Palmer and bassist Kendra Lauman are husband and wife), with two hometowns.

Sean Claes: You're based out of both Austin and New Mexico. How does that work?

Bill Palmer: My brother Jim and I were in a band called The Sharecroppers (with Nathan Hamilton and Marc Utter) in Austin for a while. That band dissolved and Hundred Year Flood was born out of that. For a few different reasons we ended up going up to Santa Fe to play shows and we loved it up there. All of our shows would have really good turnouts, which is so different than the Austin scene.

In December, we moved back here full-time but we go back there and do a lot of work. I run a recording studio up there, Frogville Records.

Last summer, I spent the entire summer up there and produced four records, and we played in a bunch of Festivals, opened for Joe Ely, Ozomotli, and did some stuff with James McMurtry. So, we still spend a lot of time in Santa Fe.

Claes: How does having two brothers who are married to the other two members of the band work out?

Palmer: We love it. There's really an honesty because we know each other so well. All of our relationships really run deeper because we're family. I think it really gives strength to it; where in other bands might not have it. Also, I think we're one of the only bands out there that it's guaranteed that every member of the band is going to get laid after the gig... and nobody is in trouble.

Claes: Here's the dreaded question, for those who haven't heard your music before, how would you describe it? Alt-country is the buzzword, but that really could mean anything.

Palmer: That's a little tough. If I say roots-rock people might think we're doing a classic rock or country or rockabilly kind of thing. I'm just as much inspired by the music we grew up on, punk rock, metal, but also country like Willie (Nelson) and Waylon (Jennings). I would say it's original southern rock.


Claes: Tell me about your single: "Ain't Gonna Fight in a Rich Man's War."

Palmer: I wrote that back in the spring. Of course, that was before the Democrats won back both the House and the Senate (laughs). I'm not sure what to do with that one now.


Anyhow, I woke up one morning and I guess I was kind of irritated about the war. I was thinking of these lines... people think that rednecks and salt-of-the-earth type people all support the president and that isn't true. So I had lines that talked about fishing, hunting, working hard and all of that coming to me so I needed a pen and paper. I couldn't find a pen or a piece of paper. What I found was a page out of my kids coloring book and a crayon. So I just started scribbling these lyrics down. When I finished the song, I grabbed my guitar and started pounding it out and my wife, Felicia, said, "That's cute, a little ornery."


When we got together to pound it out as a band it turned into to this real country-sounding anthem. When we got up to Santa Fe in June I knew it probably wasn't a song I wanted to put on a record, because I don't like to date my records, but I thought maybe it would be a really good song to put where people could download it off the Internet for free and access it. Not only to draw attention to ourselves, but to draw attention to the war and the fact that not all rednecks support the war.


Big John Treadwell, who owns Frogville Records, just for the fun of it, pieced together this little video our of images from the Internet. The next thing we knew it was on the chart of Neil Young's "Living With War" Protest Video (http://www.neilyoung.com/lwwtoday/) chart. I think it got up to number 7 (as of press time it sat at 35). It just came from a crayon on a coloring book.


Claes: Looks like it's been doing pretty well at getting your name out as well.

Palmer: Yes, it really has. Every time we go out to a gig, someone will come up to us and tell us they saw our video or heard our song. I know it has an impact. Anyone in music always wants to utilize a new medium like MySpace. In this day and age, you can have successful records and radio play, but if you do something cool on MySpace it makes it's rounds on its own.

Claes: Blue Angel is your fourth album, released in April 2006.

Palmer: I think it's our strongest work. I feel like with Blue Angel my writing had gotten stronger and our fluidity and chemistry as a band had gotten tighter. We had really started touring as a band in New Mexico, Colorado and Arizona. We were really growing as a band, starting to play to greater numbers of people. I think that when you experience any kind of success as a band, you can really hear that confidence in the music.

In our career, Blue Angel was a break-over period for us when we realized our songs didn't have to necessarily just be simple tracks. They could be deeper, painful, and/or complex. All of our work since then has been taking it further down that road.

Claes: What are some of your favorite songs on Blue Angel?

Palmer: That's easy, I'll say this. My favorites aren't necessarily anyone else's favorites. "Don't Go" is my absolute favorite. Felicia had to stay home with the kids, so the other three of us went into the studio and started playing a verse-chord structure in a circle and kept it going for about four or five minutes. The next night, Felicia came in and I asked is she'd like to write some words for it and she wrote this song in 30 minutes. She just started singing it and it was beautiful. It was anti-war in the matter that it was anti-husband going to the war. Only a woman could have that perspective. That's my very favorite, hands down.

"Kingdom of Cold," a song that I sing, is probably my other favorite on the album. I think that song is everything I've been shooting for, a real cool alternative-rock kind of edge with a country vibe.

Claes: You're playing Kyle's Lucky Cup Coffee House (corner of FM150 and Jack C. Hays Trail) again this Friday, how was it last time?

Palmer: It was fun. It wasn't a really large crowd, but people were very attentive. The way we feel is, if people enjoy, it doesn't matter if there is ten or ten-thousand people, if you feel like what you're doing means something to the ones who are there... and they had free beer.

Sean Claes (http://www.seanclaes.com) is a freelance entertainment writer in Central Texas.

December 8 - Parish Room

Five unique bands will grace the stage at Austin’s Parish Room on December 8, 2006. The hauntingly beautiful sounds of the intergalactic band, Bayta Darell (bey-tuh duh-rel), start things off at 8:30 followed at 9:30 by Hundred Year Storm (huhn-drid yeer stawrm) the ambitious experimental quartet who released two great albums in three months on two labels and who will be sure to capture your attention for a half-hour before they head out on yet another grueling tour. Nooner (noo-ner) comes up at 10:30, and the boys will bring plenty of their signature catchy ego-rock for the masses. At 11:30 as the witching hour approaches, LoneStar PornStar (lohn-stahr pawrn-stahr) will hit you directly in the face with their funk-driven, ass-shakin, gangsta-style, hard rock. And just when you think the Parish Room’s energy level has peaked, at 12:30, Shrapnel (shrap-nl) will launch a sonic assault of progressive metal music that is sure to send the audience into a hypnotic frenzy. Why the hell are all of these amazingly different indie bands performing together? Simple. They are all part of the Fireside Creative family and are playing to celebrate the launch of the new online portfolio found at www.firesidecreative.com. Consider this your personal invitation to the show. $10 will get you through the door, get you a 17-song compilation CD of Fireside Creative-friendly bands (that’s 7 more songs than iTunes can give you at that price), and it may even get you a free Gibson guitar signed by Chuck Norris. Yes… Chuck F*&@ing Norris. He’s a former Fireside Creative client too. That’s just how we roll.
Come early and we’ll feed you too.

November INsite on Stands

Ah... November. The leaves change color as we head into a season where the groud will be carpeted in a beautiful layer of fresh snow…. Um… wait a minute… the is Austin, Texas and the only way leaves change is if you spray paint them. The thing that sets Austin apart in November is the plethora of entertainment that will hit the city.

As you can see by our cover, Blue October is coming to play their hometown crowd. They’ve booked two nights at Stubbs in November (24 and 25) and we had a chance to talk with them about their carrer, fame and Zayra. We also talk with punk rockers Dead To Me who are opening for The Riverboat Gamblers this month at Emo’s.

Mixing art and music, we spoke with the fine folks at Gibson who are unleasing their Austin GuitarTown late this month. Attack of the 10-foot guitar! Also, we’ve got a spotlight on ME Television as it turns one and looks toward the future.

In movies, we catch up with Volver star Penelope Cruz and the many personalities of Robin Williams.

Since it’s November, you don’t have to prove you’re naughty or nice to indulge yourself in some great cuisine. If you haven’t discovered Sao Paulo’s Restaurante in the last five years, you need to orient yourself. Read our food feature on them and then visit.

In sports we’ve got a feature on the adventure group, Hill Country Outdoors. For those who follow UT sports, Thanksgiving means more than just turkey, it means Bevo is going after those Aggies again. In pro sports, we’ve got a NBA preview.

Of course contributer Bobby Bones is back with his early list of things to get a man for the holidays and Chuck Loesch offers up a suggestion to *gasp* go to a store and buy a CD. All that, music listings, restaurant suggestions, monthly happenings in Around Town, photos from last month’s entertainment in INsite Hindsite, and much more…

Save some turkey for me. I’ll take it on buttered bread with a little bit of salt and a dash of ketchup.
Sean Claes
Managing Editor, INsite Magazine



INsite – Always Entertaining Under The Covers.