April 1, 2005

Laredo Least Depressed..HA!

In March of 2005 Men's Health magazine chose Laredo as the least depressed city in America..

Here's what their criteria entailed:

We looked at antidepressant sales, courtesy of NDC Health; suicide rates, from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC); and the number of days inhabitants reported being depressed, based on the CDC's Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, accessed through bestplaces.net.

Where can you find happiness? Texas, that's where. Three of its cities placed in the top four: number one, Laredo; number two, El Paso; and number four, Corpus Christi.

Men's Health magazine link to story - www.menshealth.com/cda/article/0,2823,s1-3-194-3-2358,00.html

Allright.. lets break this down. This was based on all the wrong things...

1. antidepressant sales - Anyone who knows anything knows that most Laredoans either revel in being bitchy and complaining...or they hop the friggin border and get their drugs in Mexico for about 1/5 the cost.

2. suicide rates - People don't commit suicide in Laredo.. there's too much family around to bust you. They drink Schaefer Light and eat greasy crap every day and have a heart attack or die in a diabetes-related preventable illness kind of way. It's like suicide... con queso style.

3. number of days inhabitants reported being depressed - Laredoans don't "report being depressed." They bitch to anyone and everyone within earshot...then go drink Schaefer Light and eat some carnitas.

I was in Laredo recently. I looked around. I didn't see one smile. Most Laredoans aren't happy... they're self-centered assholes who are oblivious to anything but what is happening to them that may benefit them until they set themselves up for the next "feel-sorry-for-me" situation.

If Men's Health judged on the sales of alcohol, number of drug busts, and..I don't know.. maybe spent a little time in Laredo looking around... maybe this survey would have some off a little different.

Here's some other background. Men's Health also rated Laredo the number three dumbest city in America (based on number of bachelor degrees, number of universities and SAT scores. I'm not saying there's anything to that fact... I wouldn't dare use the "ignorance is bliss" line... or would I?

If you are reading this and from Laredo.. I'm not referring to you... I'm talking about other Laredoans. You know.. the ones you don't like.