How You Can Improve My Commute...

I get annoyed in traffic rather easily these days. I thought I'd come up with a simple list of things to help me out... actually they are to help you out when being on the same road as me. Feel free to thank me later.

I'm speaking directly to the folks between San Marcos, TX and Austin, TX.. but this may apply to you as well.

Here we go:

- Turn signals are your friend. Use them to signal that you are about to come into my lane or get out of it.

- If you are going slower than me, please move to the center or right lane. The left lane is for passing. I intend to use it as such.

- I don't care who you are talking to... if you're not in the slow lane turn off the phone and drive. I used to say you should hang-up and drive, but I've even seen cops using cell phones, so it's not a reality that people are going to hang up. The least you can do (and I emphasize least) is get into the right lane and out of people's way that are concentrating on driving...not finding out what Suzie is going to wear to the Rose Bowl. I'm going to venture to say she's wearing something Burnt Orange.

- If you move over from the left lane to let me pass, don't speed up and jump back in front of me. This happened this morning. Some dimwad in a white Chevy Truck moved over (without signaling) and then gunned it in the middle lane only to jump back over (without signaling) and tailgate the guy in front of me. He proceeded to tailgate folks all the way to Austin from Kyle... I got there at the same time as him. Idiot.

- If you are driving a BMW or a Lexus... you are just another car on the road to me, please don't be stereotypical and drive like an idiot.

- Please assess how fast cars around you are going. If you're in the left lane you should be going faster than the two other lanes. If a car comes up behind you and you can move over, please do so.

- If you are driving fast, and there is a car in front of you in the left lane..give it about 20 seconds before you pass on the right... be fair.

- If you aren't moving over and the car starts to make a move to pass you on the right (after giving you ample time to move over..I'd say 20 seconds...) don't pick that time to move over, you're just being an ass now.

- DON'T PASS ON THE RIGHT! The left lane is for passing. Pass on the left. This isn't a race..and you can cause my untimely death by driving like an idiot. Remember this IS all about me.

- Let's have one exception...If the car in front of you isn't moving, even though they've had ample room for 20 seconds... you can pass on the right... but get back into the left as soon as possible...and don't see it as an invitation to play highway "Frogger."

- Don't read the newspaper or a magazine or a report while driving. That's just scary.

So if you follow these simple suggestions, I'll have a much nicer commute to work. At the end of the day it IS all about me, you know.